As a child, I was frequently turned away from chid-youth services who felt I was “too severe and complex” for their service to safely support. As a consequence, I did not receive early intervention – by the time my anorexia nervosa was finally treated, I was 18 and in the early stages of organ failure. After 27 years of anorexia, I now live with chronic health problems from the impacts of chronic malnutrition: cardiac arrhythmias, gastroparesis, osteopenia, and chronic fatigue. Harm‑reduction resources for safeguarding physical health are minimal or non-existent, despite the widespread impacts of eating disorders on muscles, bones, oral health, and brain function.
Many of my hospital experiences have been traumatic: including experiences of seclusion, restraint, forced tube feeding, and compulsory treatment orders. These experiences have compounded my PTSD and complex PTSD. Eating disorder treatment protocol is also often highly distressing, involving 24/7 nursing surveillance due to your medical risk – including losses of autonomy and dignity, forced bedrest, bathroom and shower surveillance, and forced refeeding. Because of traumatic and distressing experiences in hospital, I often do not feel safe in medical settings.
Fear of retraumatization (i.e., further compulsory treatment orders, restraint/seclusion) has led me to refuse ambulances even in emergencies, resulting in serious injury, illness, and near‑death experiences.
Because trauma so profoundly affects me, I often need support to make or attend GP appointments; without it, months pass before I see a doctor. Despite being a researcher with high health literacy, trauma and illness still prevent safe access to care. Avoiding GP and emergency visits has led to crises and prolonged hospital admissions. In 2025 alone, I required emergency care 15 times, with three longer admissions for medical stabilisation and refeeding, alongside further untreated emergencies at home. This vicious cycle has occurred over years, and has led to prolonged time off work and study, impacts to my social life and relationships, and major impacts to my health and quality of life.
Restoring trust and implementing trauma‑responsive care are essential for people with complex mental illness to access physical health services safely.
